Ahhh give me Tim Tams

I've decided finances are just like dieting. You know how the minute you tell yourself you're on a diet you start craving all kinds of crap foods you usually don't eat and you just end up eating more than normal. That's the kind of relationship I have with money. Whenever I look at our budget and see that things are looking tight I get an irresistible urge to buy stuff I don't need. It's totally weird.

Til death do us part

It was my Mum and Dad's 35th Wedding Anniversary yesterday - what an accomplishment. I feel really lucky to have parents that have stayed together. I'm sure Rob and I will celebrate our 35th one day too as will most of the couples we know but it is getting to be a bit of a rarity.

School Holiday Madness

Normally Reuben, Declan and I love The Beach House. It's a big warehouse in Osborne Park full of kids play equipment and things to ride and climb and bounce on and it's a kids dream. Not in school holidays though and not today. I knew something was up when we got there - the carpark was full and I even spotted a couple of school buses but stupidly in we went. Oh My God - there was literally about 150 kids in there from little ones up to 9ish. I was meeting my friend Adina there with her 2 boys as well. Within half an hour Reuben had had the balls from the ball pit thrown at his head and Declan had been pushed off the bouncy castle and had a ride on car ridden over his foot. Apparently 2 kindys plus a couple of classes of older kids had decided to come for a fun day out before the end of school!! There wasn't a spare inch of floorspace or a free toy to get hold of and as for a coffee - forget about it. So we packed all the kids up demanded a refund and got the hell out.

Off we headed to the peace and serenity of Jackadder Lake. They have fantastic apparatus there under shade sails and it's gorgeous. No sooner had we settled in for some relaxing outdoor time than a class of about 30 kids on foot from the local school and a busload from somewhere else showed up. They were running completely rampant and Declan and Riley who are only 3 & 2 didn't have a chance at getting on a swing or a slide.

So much for a relaxing day and it's not even the holidays yet.

The Secret...

I have to make a potentially embarrassing confession. I borrowed "The Secret" DVD from the library and I'm a total convert. Of course my husband the scientist thinks I'm a total weirdo and spent a lot of time telling me how there's no way you can change your life merely through the power of positive thinking. But I'm a believer. I've always believed that your thoughts affect your life and tried to surround myself with like minded people but watching "The Secret" was really motivational to me. Rob and I had a heated discussion about it and have agreed to disagree. Of course the DVD did have some crazy notions about wishing for big bucks and sports cars and then by magic it will happen and I don't buy into that notion at all. It makes total sense to me though that if you go around always focusing on what's wrong in your life and what you don't have that all your energy is taken up with that and there is no room for good things to come into your life. The 'Law of Attraction' and 'like attracts like' have always been concepts that people have talked about. People always say 'the rich get richer' and the poor get poorer' - maybe that's the Law of Attraction at work.

Basically 'The Secret' is a bit like a modern religion but instead of God having all the power it's a belief in the universal flow of energy. Even if you think it sounds crazy it's totally worth watching. I mean what's the worst thing that can happen - you might keep it in mind one day when you're going through something tough and it might help you focus on things you have to be grateful for instead of dwelling on life's difficulties all the time.

Tomorrow is the day we've been waiting for - the chance to get pregnant again and finally have our little family. I can't believe tomorrow I'll be pregnant. I'm so nervous and really excited but mostly just confused.

Rob keeps telling me not to be too positive because he's afraid I might be setting myself up for a letdown. I'm afraid that if I'm not 100% convinced it will work then somehow my negative vibes will make it not work. You see my dilemma!! I can't decide how I'm supposed to feel.

Last week I was waiting for my blood test and a guy was there waiting to go in and provide his 'sample' while his wife was downstairs having her eggs harvested (it's a delightful process isn't it - very romantic). He was so excited and it was their first try so they had that innocence when you just believe everything will be fine. Rob and I were like that last time too and I miss that. It's so hard not to be jaded after what we've been through.

Pregnancy here we come...

Well my period finally came and we are smack bang in the midst of an IVF cycle. I've been traipsing back and forth to the hospital most mornings for blood tests (to monitor my hormone levels) and giving myself nightly injections getting ready for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). This Thursday (6th December) one of our frozen embryos will be implanted in my uterus and I will technically be pregnant. Then we have to wait 2 weeks for a test to tell us whether the pregnancy has 'stuck'. Of course a positive result will by no means be the end of the stress it's a long road ahead to get to the 'safe' 12 week mark and beyond. I think when we are pregnant we are both in the right frame of mind to see it through and hopefully even enjoy the process as much as the first time. We'll keep you posted - results day will be Thursday 20th December. Love to you all and please send us your positive vibes.