Pregnancy, Infertility and Loss

I wrote a post last week about my pregnancy so far - it was very positive and upbeat but I never got around to publishing it.  Then we had a very traumatic weekend where we felt very uncertain about the safety of our unborn baby and went through a lot of stress.  It is never far from our minds that we lost our first son and it certainly adds an extra dimension of worry and stress to pregnancy.  The fear that it could happen again is sometimes overwhelming.  It's something that is part of my life, everyday during my pregnancy I wait for those little movements. I count them, I analyse them.  They are the only element of control I feel like I have.  My Obstetrician is amazing - she has 100% faith in me, if I'm worried she takes it seriously.  So last weekend we had two visits to the hospital to undergo ultrasound and foetal monitoring - both times all was fine.  Seeing that my stress levels are peaking my OB has now commenced twice weekly CTG (foetal heart rate monitoring) sessions as well as weekly visits.  I have also undergone the steroid injections to help mature this little guys lungs just in case we decide to bring him into the wide world even earlier than already planned.

The idea of so much intervention would be abhorrent to many people I know.  It is to me also, but in the end I will take a a baby in my arms over the grim alternative no matter what it takes.  I am pregnant through the miracle of science and I will use that same science whenever it is required even if it is not my perfect dream scenario.  In the end I will have my perfect dream baby.

Here's last weeks unpublished post too


When you're pregnant the first time around - being pregnant is pretty much the focus of your life.  It's all about you and how precious and clever you are growing this new life inside you.  The second time (or beyond) there is a child (or children) to care for and it's easy to forget the pregnancy completely.  Much like the universal complaint that subsequent children are less photographed so too the pregnancy is far less documented.  The first 2 times around I recorded every little detail, every appointment, every milestone.


So on that note I thought it only fair that this little boy who will join our family in only a few weeks get some attention.  The first thing about this pregnancy is that I have been really well - I don't think I have had one single episode of true morning sickness.  Sure I've had days where I've felt off or the thought of certain foods made my stomach churn but at least 95% of the time I've been fighting fit.


I have been injecting blood thinners daily this time as before but that's a very small price to pay.  Let's be real - I've had about 10 rounds of IVF, an induced birth and a Caesar - not much could phase me anymore.


All of our tests have been really positive.  Our first trimester screening gave us a 1 in 641 result so need for an amnio this time around - a stress I was glad to avoid.


This bub is a mover and a shaker - boy does he wriggle and we've all had great delight feeling him move and watching Mummy's tummy do some pretty cool alien tricks as hands and feet poke out to say hi.


All in all a great pregnancy.  We all just can't wait to meet this new little boy and discover everything there is to know about him.