Too much sadness

A dear and wonderful friend of mine has lost her baby today at 18 weeks. She had recently had an amnio and showed up today for what should have been a lovely chance to peek at her growing bubs in the anatomy scan to be told that the baby had passed away in utero. I thought my heart couldn't break again in the way it did for Banjo but it has split in two for her and her husband and their gorgeous son. I feel their pain in the truest way possible - through shared experience. All my love to them and all the mothers and families (far too many - I'm realising) who lose life just when it should be beginning.

Mmmmm Chocolate..

Happy Easter

Life through the eyes of babies - just don't let him near your favourite books!!

No Abnormalities Detected

These were the 3 magic words that I heard yesterday afternoon when I called for the preliminary/express results. It was such a surreal moment - I actually said to the lady on the phone- I Love You!!

Calling Rob to tell him the good news was the best feeling ever - better even than the 2 times I've called to tell him I was pregnant. We have both felt that once we got through this challenge that would be our last obstacle and we could just enjoy the last 20 weeks as a normal pregnancy.

The actual procedure was so much easier than I expected and didn't actually hurt at all - it was a very weird feeling though when the needle passed into my uterus. The doctors were amazing and so kind and caring. We are definitely going back to Women's Imaging (Subiaco) for the rest of our scans - they made even the worst of situations quite pleasant.

Note from Daddy

Dear Poppy,

We're very sorry for that intrusion yesterday. It can't have been a nice feeling having a big needle popping up next to your head, then feeling 20% of your fluidy, comfy, warm atmosphere disappear. But let me tell you that it was probably the most unnatural thing in the world for your mummy to let anything like that happen to you. I put my hand on her heart to help reassure her, but let me tell you it was beating almost as fast as yours (which was 142 bpm yesterday - perfectly good for a baby your size!). She is the bravest mummy in the world. No matter how many trials and tribulations she has to endure, she remains brave and only ever wants to do the right thing by you. She doesn't know how strong she is, but I am so proud of her and love her more and more every day. The emotional rollercoaster ride of being pregnant is wearing ME out, Poppy - I can't imagine the fortitude required to actually BE pregnant and have everything happen to you (lots of needles, procedures and the like - I'm sure I couldn't cope!). Anyway, just know that we are only making sure that the doctor's know what we already do - that you are our beautiful baby.

Love Daddy XXX

P.S. The skill of your doctor was truly amazing, even when you were wriggling around as much as you do, she still performed the procedure perfectly. These people are the true heroes of our society... thank you doctor. She captured some great photos of you yesterday, which I'm sure your mummy will post very soon...

Today's the Day

We have an appointment for our amnio this afternoon at 4.30pm. I feel sick. I've been really good during the excruciating 2 week wait but today I feel sick to my stomach with fear and stress. Luckily I have a busy day with Reuben and Declan because today is our play date with Riley - hopefully the day will fly by.

Of course the next thing is to wait for the results. We should have a preliminary result within 48 hours - however if things aren't looking good they will not release that result and we will have to wait the full 10 - 14 days.

Thanks for all your well wishes. I look forward to publishing the good news result soon.

Thought for the day

A while ago a bought a piece of fabric with a really motivational saying on it. Today when I was cleaning up my craft/sewing room I came across it and though I would share it with you all.

The longer I live, the more important I realise the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me, is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what people think or say or do.
It will make or break a company, a relationship, a home.
We have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change the past, we cannot change the way others act.
The one thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our own attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react.
Be brave, life is joyous.

I can't credit the writer because I don't know who it is - but what a very enlightened individual he or she must be.

Seemed like a good idea at the time

I've been given the all clear and have started an array of pregnancy exercise classes. I go to an outdoor personal training session on Monday and Friday mornings then aquarobics on Wednesday evening and 2 luxurious hours of Yoga on Saturday morning. I actually really enjoy them all but this week I'm really sore from some serious squats on Monday morning. I start to wonder why I don't just sleep in instead of doing these crazy things!!

Why Did the Tiger Cross the Road?

Because the tiger saw a car and the tiger was a friendly tiger and he was with a friendly snake. The friendly snake wanted to go to Snake World (??) and see the mummy and daddy snakes. The snakes were driving cars because they had hands. Then the tiger took a car and drove it home and didn't crash.

This is the joke that Declan told me this week while we were driving to a friends house. It was so amusing to me I pulled over and wrote it down so I wouldn't forget any details. What a smart and intriguing kid he is. The best part is after telling it to me he looked at me and said "Is that funny?"