Funeral Service

For those of you who couldn't make it to Banjo's funeral I thought you may like to see the service and the readings that were given on the day.

Thank you all for coming this morning on this very sad occasion. My name is Lana and I’m a friend of Rob and Kirsty’s and the whole Beggs Family. The following ceremony was written by Maggie Dent who was not only Rob and Kirsty’s Marriage Celebrant but has become a very dear friend. She could not be here today and I have been asked to say the following words on her behalf.

We have gathered here this morning with heavy hearts to farewell a beautiful baby boy whose beloved Mum and Dad, Kirsty and Rob have named Banjo Arthur.
Little Banjo has been an enormous part of his parents’ life for all these months of waiting and not only was he eagerly awaited by his parents but also by his grandparents, great grandparents,, his aunties, uncles, cousins and other family and friends.

Grieving the loss of someone we love takes time and much love and compassion is needed by those closest to us for us to come to a place of acceptance, to a place when our heart no longer aches with the cutting pain that is only known to those who have walked this journey no one ever wants to take. The loss of a baby or child is not how life is meant to go. We expect our children to farewell us when we are old and weary not for us to farewell our children.

All people struggle to come to terms with the loss of young children and thus the loss of a new born baby is even more incomprehensible. Maybe we are not meant to understand or make sense of this tragedy. Maybe we are meant to simply focus on being a genuine part of the journey to recovery, and renewal. Maybe there are some things that happen in life that simply challenge the very fibre of our being because we cannot explain or rationalize the “why” and maybe they encourage and develop in us a deeper depth of character and understanding of life and ourselves.

Rob and Kirsty wanted to farewell their precious Banjo from our world in a loving and gentle way amongst those people who are most special in their lives. They very much want to acknowledge and honour their little son’s life even though it has been so brief.

Death can never take from anyone the experience of loving, of having been loved. Love continues beyond death and Banjo’s name needs to be spoken of openly and with love, without a hint of a shadow as he will always be a part of Rob and Kirsty’s lives. He was wanted and eagerly awaited with hope and with optimism. This young couple have drawn strength and courage from each other and have been deeply loved and supported by all of you here this morning. They thank you all sincerely and have chosen the following poem to capture Banjo’s life.


Angel’s Footprint (Read by Kirsty)

IF WE COULD HAVE A LIFETIME WISH
A DREAM THAT WOULD COME TRUE.
WE’D PRAY AND PRAY WITH ALL OUR HEARTS
FOR YESTERDAY AND YOU.
A THOUSAND WORDS CAN’T BRING YOU BACK;
WE KNOW BECAUSE WE’VE TRIED.
AND NEITHER WILL A MILLION TEARS,
WE KNOW – BECAUSE WE’VE CRIED.
YOU LEFT BEHIND OUR BROKEN HEARTS
AND HAPPY MEMORIES TOO
WE NEVER WANTED MEMORIES,
WE ONLY WANTED YOU.

IF TEARS COULD BUILD A STAIRWAY
AND MEMORIES WERE A LANE
WE’D WALK RIGHT UP TO HEAVEN
TO BRING YOU HOME AGAIN
NO FAREWELL WORDS WERE SPOKEN
NO TIME TO SAY GOODBYE
YOU WERE GONE BEFORE WE KNEW IT
AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY.
OUR HEARTS STILL ACHE WITH SADNESS
AND SECRET TEARS STILL FLOW
WHAT IT MEANT TO LOSE YOU
NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

May I invite you to spend a few moments in quiet reflection on Banjo and of how his short life has touched and enriched yours.

Rob’s Reading (Letter to Banjo from John De Roach)

Dear Banjo

This is a letter to you from your Granddad, or Grandpa or Pa. I’m not sure what you would have called me, but whatever it was I would have loved it.

I want to say how happy I am that you touched my life, from the moment I heard you were on your way, until the moment I had the joy of holding you in my arms, just after you were born. I am so happy that I met you, and I wish you could have got to know me.

I had lots of plans for us, starting with reciting lots of Australian poetry to you and reading to you while you fell asleep. I was secretly hoping that you would be a light sleeper so that I would have to spend a good deal of time doing this.

We would have spent lots of time playing and walking on the beach, and I would have shown you how to bob over the waves. I know you would have grown to love Paul Kelly, Jimmy Buffet and the Divinyls and you would have been under great pressure to be a Carlton supporter. I wouldn’t have made the same mistake I made with your Dad, and I would have bought you a train set for your first birthday.

I am really sad that your whole big extended family will not have the pleasure of sharing your life with you as you grow up, and I am especially sad for myself.

I will never forget sharing your birth with you and seeing you for the first time. You have the most beautiful long fingers and toes. The ninth of July will always be your birthday and I will always have a photo of you displayed unobtrusively in my house for me.

Thank you, Sir, for coming and seeing us.

I so wished you could have stayed longer but wishing will never make it so, so I count my blessings and am thankful for the joy you brought me and the memories you have left with me always.

Lots of Love, Pa


Kirsty’s Reading (A letter I wrote to Banjo on the night after I had delivered him)

Dear Banjo

I want you to know that as your Mummy I have experienced 25 weeks of the purest happiness I have ever felt in my life.

I will never forget the elation when Daddy and I found out you were the tiniest beginnings of life forming inside me. Then all the stages of your short life were such happy milestones for us as a family.

Daddy and I were cuddled up in bed when I first felt your little body move inside of mine. It was the most magical physical experience I’ve had feeling your daily gymnastics taking place.

I am so sad and heartbroken that you never had a chance to feel the sun from this earth on your beautiful face.

Daddy and I had so many dreams and plans for our lives together as a threesome. We looked forward to lazy Sunday mornings in bed with you snuggled between us. We longed to take you to the beach and the zoo and all our favourite places. I couldn’t wait to read you a hundred books and Daddy wanted to build cities of Lego with you.

You will be our treasured child always. Our first born and number 1 son.

Thank you for coming to us although it was too short a time.

I love you.


Gentle One (Pam to read)

You were with us for such a short time
And yet have touched our lives in so many ways
You are a gift of the love
Between two special people
A gift to show that the miracle of birth is not
Something small or ordinary,
It is a miracle

You are a symbol of togetherness
And connectedness of those we love
This powerful symbol has activated
And deepened the love and affection of
Those who really matter in our lives

You are a blessing of all that is good,
Beautiful and special in life.
This blessing will remind us all
Of the fragility and sacredness of the
Gift of life.

Little Banjo, beloved son of Rob and Kirsty
We thank you for the gift, the symbol and the blessing
Of your tiny life.
May we all keep these special reminders
Deep in our hearts, minds and souls.

Journey softly, little one
Until we meet again.

Rob and Kirsty would like to play you this song that was written and recorded by Devon who is not only a lovely friend but a beautiful midwife.

(Play Music – We Dreamed of You by Devon Plumley)

KIRSTY TO SPEAK ABOUT SIGNIFICANCE OF BALLOON RELEASE AND THEN THE BALLONS WILL BE LET GO.

Rob and I wanted to release these balloons 1 for each week of Banjo’s life because balloons are usually associated with children and happy times. This 1 butterfly balloon symbolises his spirit being freed from this earth and we want always to associate the beauty of the butterfly with Banjo.

(A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam
And for a brief moment it’s glory and beauty belong to our world.
But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed,
We feel so lucky to have seen it.)

It is now time for us to farewell Banjo’s tiny body with deep love and respect. Rob and Kirsty believe that his special little soul has been freed from our world and this final formality will symbolise that life will start anew with his presence in an invisible and yet positive way.

(This was the end of the service and Rob and I lowered his little coffin into the ground and we all placed our items in to keep him safe. There were lots of teddy bears and flowers and cards and letters and Abbey gave him a toy car)