Letter to Harper 3 months

Dear Harper ( aka Harpsie, Harps, Harpsie Bear, Harpsichord)

13 weeks ago you made your grand entrance.  In some ways it seems so much longer but it also feels like just yesterday.  It had just been Daddy, Mummy and Noah for such a long while and at times we had almost given up on having another baby so it seems very surreal now to have you here.

You are a beautiful baby and we are all absolutely smitten with you especially your doting, if at times, too enthusiastic big brother.

It is uncanny how much you look like Noah did as a baby.  We are excited for the future and to see how you grow and change and how alike the two of you end up.

One things for sure you both have a total disregard for sleep and like to cry A LOT.  You do like your sleep and are quite easy to get off to sleep but you just like to check in for some milk and cuddles every 2 or 3 hours day and night.  You are certainly not a fan of the car either which is a shame because it was one of our tricks to get your brother to sleep but you prefer to scream in the car.

You are very clever and have already rolled both ways a few times but it's not a daily trick yet.  You love kisses and really try to kiss back - mostly sticking your tongue in but we get the message.

We're all really tired and so far it's been a challenging journey but it's all worth it when you give us one of your big gummy smiles.  You are a beautiful delightful baby and we are so happy you're here.  We have so many adventures planned for you but for right now we are enjoying your delicious baby face because we have learnt that the time goes ever so fast and it is too precious to waste.

Love Mummy

Harper - 2 Months Old

The day I broke my son's heart

Every day in playgrounds across Australia and probably the world you can hear mothers telling their children not to play with sticks.  Sticks are a boy's best friend and a mother's worst nightmare.  All we can imagine is someone losing an eye as careless children wield them at each other with no regard for the danger but kids don't see a dangerous stick they see a sword to have a pirate battle, a magic wand or a beautiful flute.

Noah and I got into a battle royale today - I had relented and allowed him to play with a rather large stick in the park but when he insisted on bringing it in the car and home I was strident.  He is usually fairly easily convinced to leave them behind but today he was adamant.  Eventually after getting nowhere with reasoning and then a time out I took that blasted stick and snapped it over my knee.  Noah burst into tears and was wailing 'my beautiful flute, my beautiful flute'  'I need glue to get it back how it was'. He was repeating it over and over and crying so hard it was the ugly snotty cry.  Even when I tried to apologise and explain my actions he wouldn't look me in the eye.  My words can't do his level of emotion justice - he was genuinely heartbroken and he looked at me with such hurt my heart broke too.

I was with a friend who also has small children and we were both struck by the moment (and to be honest a little bit teary).  We realised that sometimes rules need to be broken.  That sometimes we need to let our kids have a win.  Would it really have killed me to let him bring the stick home. These are not little people to be controlled by our never ending rules.  Our children are full of potential - they need our guidance and some of our rules need to be steadfast but some can be bent to allow their creativity and imagination and independence to blossom.

As I type this Noah has helped himself to a jar of screws and has glued them to a collage he's working on.  I have had to remove them from his picture (They are part of an IKEA project I'm building so it's not negotiable) and he is upset (again) but the stick I could have given in on.

Amendment at 8pm


Just to document another major parenting failure - it appears I have also managed to get my beautiful 6 week old boy's face sunburned in the park today.

Both these event have caused me many tears this evening and I have realised I am at that point where no area of my life is being given the attention it needs or deserves.  I am juggling too many balls and something has got to give.  It might be time to cut the 3 hourly expressing sessions and give in to the failing battle to breastfeed.  More on that front tomorrow.

Oh yeah and my cleaner of two years quit today too.  Best. Day. Ever.

Wordless Wednesday - Harper 1 month.

Better late than never he's actually 6 weeks and 2 days now

Things I know

As a mother of two now there are some things I have learnt - I thought I'd share.

1. Having 2 children is the fail safe quickest way to cure a lifelong nail biting habit! My hands are never still.

2. You can (and will) blow dry your hair using the car air conditioning on the way to Kindy/Swimming etc

3. The sound of the breast pump will become the soundtrack for your life and you will grow to love it's funky   German nightclub beats.

4. You and your husband will never again have a conversation that doesn't involve talk of poo, breast milk and who's turn it is to change the nappy.

5. Even though you wondered if you could ever love another child as much as your first - the love is instant and overwhelming and the pride of watching your older boy love his new brother is heartbreakingly special.

6. It's all worth it (and sleep is for the weak!)

Inside, Outside

Remember This?

and then Voila!

Photos by Michelle at Dainty Stills