Reflections on Harper's First Year

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times'

Charles Dickens - A Tale of Two Cities

There are no better words to sum up the last year for me and my family.  On the surface we look like the luckiest people.  We finally welcomed a much anticipated and desired second child to our family.  We bought and moved into our dream home.  I finally lost the (almost) 40 kilos that had been literally and figuratively dragging me down for the last 6 years.

That's on the surface - behind the scenes it has been an entire year of sleepless nights.  It has been a year of stress and worry.  Why is our baby crying all day, why is he always so sick and sad.  Doctors visit after doctors visit with really no answers.  Months of weekends and nights completely consumed with selling our old house when we had already committed to buying a bigger more expensive house.  Moving house with any baby is tough but with one that cries all day and never sleeps - chaos reigned. Rob made huge sacrifices for me to attend my 5-6 hours of exercise every week and it's taken it's toll on him.

It feels like our precious big boy lost his Mummy this year.  After 3 and a half years of solid quality time with him I became almost completely unavailable.  Hours rocking a crying baby to sleep and hours of painting, packing, renovating old and new houses meant that Noah has watched more TV in the last year than his first 3 years of life.  It is showing in his behaviour and it hurts me deeply that he has been affected negatively by our decisions and choices.

On the weekend we celebrated Harper's 1st birthday with an awesome Very Hungry Caterpillar Party.  At the last minute Rob urged me to make a speech and I've regretted it ever since.  I didn't say what I wanted to - I'm not good on the spot. I only said a few sentences but they were not what I meant.  Every quiet moment I've had since then it's run through my head - what I wished I had said.  So here it is.

It's been a tough year, Harper has not been the dream baby everyone hopes for but we wouldn't change it for the world.  We love him.  He has completed our family which we though might never grow bigger than the 3 of us.  He's been hard work - really hard work but his smiles and his giggle have made it all worth while.  We know the future is bright and things can only get better.  He'll grow into a delightful boy just like Noah did and all this baby nonsense will soon fade from memory. We are so very thankful to live in this beautiful home which we only have through the love and financial support of both sides of our family.  We are blessed, we have more than most but most importantly we have each other.  We are a family and that is all we need. 

We love you Harps - you're a gorgeous sweet little man.  Happy Birthday.  GO TO SLEEP!!

Harpsy, on your 1st Birthday

Tomorrow, Harpsy, you turn One! Your mummy and I really don't know where this year went. We feel a little guilty that you haven't received many posts on this blog, but for your information only, I want you to know that we took 14,168 photos in your first year of life (and we only took 9,434 photos during your brother's first year)... it's just been that we've been so busy loving and caring for you, that we just haven't had a chance to blog. Also, if Facebook still exists by the time you can read this - have a look at mummy and daddy's timeline - you're the star attraction of 2012!

We won't lie - you have hardly slept or eaten much this year - and mummy and daddy's eyes have nearly fallen out... but you are healthy, and your fun-seeking personality, your smile and your laugh truly melt our hearts so much it hurts.

You LOVE music, and bopping away to anything with a beat... perhaps you've absorbed all of Noah's music classes by osmosis. You particularly like using any stick-like thing as a drum stick... and you LOVE clapping (yaaaaaay Harpsy).

You can rise and stand by yourself - but can't yet walk. Crab crawling is still just fine - and b*gger going backwards, head first into any obstacle is the way to go (usually holding something to increase the level of difficulty) - a true reflection of your character.

You say da da da, all the time, with reference to anything and everything. You haven't quite (or maybe you have) mastered kisses and often leave your tongue hanging out.

WATER is you deity - you worship the warm shower god just like your brother did, and enjoy the bath and swimming lessons even more. You're a beach baby too (you really have no choice - to be consolidated by your first week of your second year spent at various beaches in Rottnest).

You LOVE your cousin Abbey, and look at her as if she is your second mum (this is something to do with her loving you to bits and looking after you all the time).

Your brother ADORES you, and is often found in your bedroom after you have just woken up, well before mummy and daddy reach you. You look at Noah the exact same way you look at Abbey, although sometimes a bit more quizzically, as Noah's eccentricity and craziness towards you is sometimes a little hard to understand.

Your grandparents (Nanny, Poppy, Pa, Nanna Mal, Grandad, Nanna Ivy, Pa Pa and Nanna Bron) are besotted with you, and you have taken to each of them. You have particularly spent a lot of time at your Nanny and Poppy's house because they love you so much (and for which your mummy and daddy are eternally grateful :)

Personally, we are most content when one of us cuddles you in our arms, as you doze off feeling safe and comfy (while the other one of us reads a book to your big brother in bed).

You are our beautiful Harpsi-chord and we promise that we will do everything in our power to let your life flourish into whatever you want it to be...

Most important of all is for you to always know that WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

mummy and daddy XXX

A Post From The Husband - Happy Mother's Day

The best mum that I know XXX
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Our Life

Harper is 6 months old today. It's hard to believe that much time in his precious life has gone by already.  Life has been hectic (complete and utter chaos might be more the truth here).  It's almost impossible to remember that not so long ago it was just 3 of us and we had things pretty under control.  Life was, dare I say it, easy.  We all knew things would change, we wanted them to change.  We were desperate to open our hearts and our home to a new bundle of baby love.  I don't think we were prepared for how different it would be - in so many good ways but also some very challenging ways.

Not only did Harper grow our family but not so long after his arrival our gorgeous 11 year old niece Abbey started living with us.  We are now a family of 5 and that is awesome.  Growing form 3 to 4 to 5 in a space of only a few months has brought some other big changes.  There is a new house which we are preparing to move to and of course a house to sell also.

Somedays it's hard to remember how lucky we are.  Hard to take the time to enjoy our big loving family.  It's too easy to get caught up in the rush of it all.  The days quite often blur into one big crazy cycle of packing lunches, washing clothes, getting kids to soccer, hockey, music, tennis......

I have to remember to take time to stare at this precious boy that is changing every day.  Enjoy watching the way he grabs his little toes and pulls them to his mouth.  The big gummy smiles he gives all of us but most expecially Noah and Abbey. His sleeping is getting so much better but I need to try and enjoy those nighttime cuddles and that feeling I am the only person in the world that can make him happy at those hours of the night.

My big boy Noah, so grown up and smart and brave and funny but really still so small. He will be starting Kindy next year and then after that it's full time school - FOREVER. I'm trying to take the time to enjoy our days together - he's my buddy and such fun to be around.

For every day full of frustrations and all the stress and sleep deprivation it's still an awesome life and I feel so lucky to be a mum to these beautiful children.

Letter to Harper 3 months

Dear Harper ( aka Harpsie, Harps, Harpsie Bear, Harpsichord)

13 weeks ago you made your grand entrance.  In some ways it seems so much longer but it also feels like just yesterday.  It had just been Daddy, Mummy and Noah for such a long while and at times we had almost given up on having another baby so it seems very surreal now to have you here.

You are a beautiful baby and we are all absolutely smitten with you especially your doting, if at times, too enthusiastic big brother.

It is uncanny how much you look like Noah did as a baby.  We are excited for the future and to see how you grow and change and how alike the two of you end up.

One things for sure you both have a total disregard for sleep and like to cry A LOT.  You do like your sleep and are quite easy to get off to sleep but you just like to check in for some milk and cuddles every 2 or 3 hours day and night.  You are certainly not a fan of the car either which is a shame because it was one of our tricks to get your brother to sleep but you prefer to scream in the car.

You are very clever and have already rolled both ways a few times but it's not a daily trick yet.  You love kisses and really try to kiss back - mostly sticking your tongue in but we get the message.

We're all really tired and so far it's been a challenging journey but it's all worth it when you give us one of your big gummy smiles.  You are a beautiful delightful baby and we are so happy you're here.  We have so many adventures planned for you but for right now we are enjoying your delicious baby face because we have learnt that the time goes ever so fast and it is too precious to waste.

Love Mummy